There are moments in our lives when we feel stuck, insecure and in way over our heads. Feelings like this usually revolve around doing something new, something outside of our comfort zone.
When we find ourselves in these situations we need to pay close attention to the voice in our head and what we are saying to ourselves. That little voice is powerful and unfortunately it can be pretty negative, telling us to stop dreaming and to give up.
I’ve found it’s a lot easier to change the tape that plays in my head with the help of specific friends. Seeking input, advice and encouragement only from those who are growing and pushing to move outside their own comfort zone is the key.
Crying in the kitchen
About 15 years ago my wife Megan was starting her photography business. She had the raw talent and the eye to capture beautiful moments, but doing something new was scary. I stood silently in our kitchen listening to Megan as she told me she was scared, she didn’t think she could successfully be self employed or build a business that would thrive and provide her with a secure income.
She begins to cry and tells me she’s going to walk into our local supermarket and take the open job they have posted for a checker. She had been a checker after high school and even though it would crush her spirit and her dreams, it was familiar and safe.
I looked her right in the eye and told her no way in hell she was doing that. I knew she had the talent and work ethic, she just needed to get over the hump of self doubt and limiting beliefs that were causing her to pause and look back to a safe place, her comfort zone.
My new job was clear, to become Megan’s biggest encourager. To be the person that believed in her more than she believed in herself. To help her change her tapes.
Listening to the right people
We all face fear and self doubt when we are trying something new and our self talk has a habit of punching us in the face over and over when all we need is a small thread of hope to grab on to. Seeking out others that have already done the thing we are looking to do or have succeeded in their own journey is the best way to get new input that can change the voices in our head.
There are only two paths words of your own or words of others will take you. One path is encouragement and the chance of success and the other path is discouragement and failure. Megan and I pay close attention to the people around us and what words they speak into our lives, it is one of the most important things we do. If you have negative people in your life, replace them as fast as you can.
It’s extremely rare that you will find a successful person that won’t offer advice or encouragement to help us on our path as we leave our comfort zone. They have been there and know what it feels like, trust me, reach out because they will help.
Become the right people
15 years later, Megan’s photography business is thriving and I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished. She doesn’t hoard her secrets and she is constantly helping new photographers get started on accomplishing their own dreams.
In the beginning, dreams are fragile. We need to be there for each other, to encourage and offer up the insights and experience that can take that dream and help turn it into reality. At times, we need the encouragement. Other times, we need to make sure we are reaching out, becoming the encourager our friends and family so desperately need.
The tapes that play in our head can be heavy. Having a friend help us lift and change them can make all of the difference. My hope is that I’m always the friend that is ready to lift when needed.
This Week’s Podcast
In this Podcast Rob Bell talks about the different types of messages we tell our selves and about changing the tapes that play in our head.
For more info on Rob Bell visit his iTunes page. Be sure to check out his other episodes and subscribe to the Podcast if you connect with him. Also, make sure to leave a rating and a comment in iTunes so Rob feels the love.
This post was originally published at Sow.Reap.Live