The smartphone has changed the world, mostly for the good. My phone handles my day to day functions so well that I really can’t imagine trying to live without it, and yes, I know that by next Wednesday it will be twice as smart and three times as fast.
Unfortunately progress has its pitfalls and if you look around it becomes pretty obvious that intimacy and attention are at the top of the kill list.
5 warning signs to keep an eye on
1. The new instead of the now
Interrupting a current conversation by checking our phone because we just received a text or an email sends a crystal clear message to the person or group we are with, this new message on my phone is more important and interesting than you are.
This is not only a big one, it’s the main one and we tend to do it to our spouses and our kids more than anyone else.
2. Screen glow in bed
It almost seems normal that for most, the first thing we do in the morning and the last thing we do at night is stare at our phones. For the record, it’s not a good idea and studies show that it may be hurting us and our relationships more than we know.
We lay there with our little screens glowing, making sure Facebook still works, the weather looks good, stocks are doing OK or just coming up with the perfect letter combo in a Words With Friends game. The nightstand is a bad place for the phone.
3. Editing vs. Experiencing
Spending more time trying to capture the perfect selfie, edit the perfect selfie and posting the perfect selfie to Instagram, Facebook and Twitter has a way of ruining a moment like no other.
It’s one thing to take a few snapshots on a hike to remember the day, but experiencing a special moment through the lens of your phone or tablet is missing the point.
4. The need to stay busy and stimulated
5 minutes of quiet and downtime? Are you crazy! It could be waiting for my barber, sitting in traffic, waiting in line at Starbucks, waiting for my food at a restaurant or a million other waits. When a temporary pause arises, I just reach into my pocket, pull out my phone and just start tapping.
I have developed a really bad habit of needing to be constantly stimulated, entertained and informed. I think actually talking to some of the humans that are standing near me or even a quick and relaxing meditation would be healthier way to spend some of my waiting time.
5. The fear of missing out
If Kim Kardashian tries to break the internet again, trust me, you’ll hear about it. It’s as if we won’t survive without seeing the latest social media update as soon as it posts. There is this odd need to be the first to be informed, to be in the know. This is an unhealthy habit and I’m doing my best to eliminate it and Kim Kardashian from my life, sorry Kim.
Busy isn’t the goal
My goal in life isn’t to be busy, it’s about love, intimacy and relationships. I find that I can lose sight of that so easily and end up spending time doing irrelevant things that add no long term value to my life.
I’m working on living with intention. Intention of making sure the relationships in my life are getting better and stronger everyday. I’ve started to realize that doing that can be as simple as not reaching for the phone when it makes a sound.
As I watched this video I instantly knew I was going to switch out this week’s podcast post for a video post. This whole phone topic has been on my mind for a while and this video sums it up perfectly.
Take 2 minutes and watch this video by Charlene deGuzman. With 47 million views and counting, I think she has hit a nerve.
This post was originally published at Sow.Reap.Live